A bit of wisdom to pass along to your SO

Women are like phones.

They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.

But push the wrong button and you're disconnected!

Think your jewelry is too blah? Put a penis on it!

You can find out more about these penis amulets here. 

Plus, they're for sale!

It's Mayhem Monday!

Happy Birthday cakes that will definitely please the male in your household!

You can view more such cakes,

including risque bridal shower cakes, here.

The Romans certainly knew what they were doing!

I often wonder what parents, who take their children overseas on vacation, say when accosted by such "explicit" statuary.  I mean, Rome is filled with such graphic representation (especially the female kind.)

By the same token, what does the museum guide tell a group of elementary students, visiting the art museum on a field trip, when they first glimpse the Venus De Milo?

Wanna get revenge?

Yep, that's Jello.  So once everyone has a laugh, you can eat the joke!

"Hecho En China"? WTF?

My St. John's Bay sweater tag says "HECHO EN CHINA".
Does that mean it arrived at my JC Penny from China by way of Mexico?

Quickies: A Meal in Minutes

Ever have those days you can't figure out what the hell to fix for supper?  Every so often I'm going to post a quickie (basically a meal you can fix in just minutes, with less than a handful of ingredients.)  BTW, my picky eater hubby loves it, so I can't complain.

BEEF TIPS AND RICE

Ingredients: 
1 pkg. stew meat
1 pkg. brown gravy mix (I like Pioneer's)
2 cups uncooked white rice
1 tbl. onion flakes

1 tbl. olive oil

salt and pepper to taste
(Optional:  sliced red and green bell peppers)

Heat oil in a large skillet, and add onion flakes.  Salt and pepper stew meat, and brown on medium high in skillet.  (Add bell peppers here if you're wanting them.)  Mix gravy mix in glass - DOUBLE the amount of water - and add to browned meat.  While mixture simmers and gravy thickens, fix rice.  Feeds 4.

Ya know that little trunk pull in the back of your car?

Did ja ever notice the "picture" on it?

RUN, FORREST, RUN!

It's good to be a woman.

I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use, and the friends I have.

It is good to be a woman:

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

3. Taxis stop for us.

4. We don 't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

5. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo (which Aussie men call "Budgie Smugglers") lol

6. We don 't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.

9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.

13. We will never regret piercing our ears.

14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

It's Mayhem Monday!

A friend sent me this.  I love it!  Pube shampoo!  Nothing like a woman hiding her naturally sexy, musky scent with artificial mint.  And get a load of the price!  Jeez, haven't these people ever heard of SOAP?

Arrgh!

Has anyone started a story, then gone back a few weeks (or months) later to pick it up and finish it, AND CAN'T FIND THE FRIGGIN' FOLDER SHE'D LEFT IT IN?

This does not compute.

Over on Amazon, Janet Evanovich's reissue of HERO AT LARGE is $9.59 on the Kindle.  In plain ole paperback, it's $7.99. 
http://www.amazon.com/Hero-at-Large-Janet-Evanovich/dp/0061985945/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269011841&sr=1-4

If I order it on Fictionwise, it's $11.99 (not counting discount).
http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/b106479/a-href-ebooks-b106479-Hero-at-Large-Janet-Evanovich-si0Hero-at-Large-a/Janet-Evanovich/?&si=0

What gives?  I thought e-prices were supposed to be CHEAPER.  Whereas this is telling me that driving down to the local B&N would be less costly.

Are ebooks becoming more expensive because of the convenience?