Tying a cherry stem with just your tongue

In a man's world, finding a woman who can tie a cherry stem with just her tongue is the equivalent of hitting the lottery - or so I've been told.  There have been TV shows and movies where a stripper/call girl was able to show off her dexterity by performing such a trick.  Of course, I told hubby that with camera magic ANYone can do it, but he's insistent that I try.  So I found these directions on "how to".

I'll keep you posted.

Girls Night Out

Two women who had been friends for years, decided to go for a Girls Night Out, and were decidedly over-enthusiastic on the martinis. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to use the bathroom.

They were very near a cemetery, and one of them suggested they wiz behind a headstone. The first woman had nothing to dry herself with so
she thought she'd take off her panties, use them, then throw them away.

Her friend, however, was wearing rather expensive underwear and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a
wreath that was on one of the graves. She dried herself with the ribbon.
After finishing, they then made off for home.

The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said, "This girls night out thing has got to stop right now. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing," said the other husband.  "Mine came home with a card stuck to her ass that said, FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION, WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU."

So true :(

Don't ask.

Happy Mother's Day!

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES


1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life - - WD-40 and Duct Tape.  If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.  If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

8. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Places I want to go visit

Please note the warning sign!

From the do-it-yourself department

Next time you're building a man out of spare furniture, don't forget the details!

Very drool-worthy!

I don't know who this guy is, but isn't he worth having a hot dream?

This little piggy went wee wee wee!

My husband said there's no way he could "go" in a bathroom like this.  But you gotta admit, it's hilarious!  Wonder if they make stalls that have "people peering over".

It's Mayhem Monday!

This site has photos of some of the naughtiest statues.
Warning!  Definitely NSFW!

Job hunting?

Would you go to a job fair if you had to pass through this kind of doorway?

I have a new contract!

Time to do the Snoopy Dance!  Red Rose Publishing just contracted my next book!

RHYTHM AND BOOS is a humorous, contemporary, paranormal, erotic romance. That's a mouthful, isn't it?

Here's the blurb:

Sinsuelle (aka Sydney Shookerman) was an exotic dancer. At least, she tried to be. Unfortunately, Sydney sucked at the job. She had a body to die for, and the face of an angel, but she lacked the timing and moves which would put her in the pro league.

Fortunately, she managed to keep her job at Napoleon’s nightclub. And despite the rumors that Napoleon’s used to be a speakeasy back in the 1920s, and was reputed to be haunted, she never knew how haunted it was until she accidentally awoke the spirit of one poor victim from that era.

The first thing Frankie Nuwurth wanted to do was to get even with the wise guys who had put him away. Although he had no idea how he was resurrected, the cute half-naked dame working in the joint was an awful temptation. And one thing was certain—he hadn’t been laid in almost a hundred years, which meant he had a lot of catching up to do!